Tuesday, August 02, 2011

obstinate, adj.

obstinate, adj.

Sometimes it becomes a contest: Which is more stubborn, the love or the two arguing people caught within it?

-from The Lovers Dictionary, by David Levithan

Emy Reynolds - Stubborn : Ode to the Stubborn


Anonymous said...

I wish that weren't so true. It's very sad when that is the last question before the fallout. Are you hanging on for the love, because you are equally stubborn, fate wants you together, fear of life without each other, true joy in the time you spend, or simply delaying the anguish?


Sean said...

Any way you cut it, it doesn't seem to be a very appealing contest, does it?

Anonymous said...

There is no contest at all, I fear you've got that wrong. Love SHOULD be stubborn, headstrong, and believe in itself. Love, proper and true, will refuse to leave because it knows it's right.

Anonymous said...

It is pretty simple... If the two arguing are as stubborn as the love and there happens to be a "fall out" it isnt really love. Love is a series of battles fought together. Not a civil war. Whats the point fighting either way?

Anonymous said...

It would be wonderful if a couple could go, hand in hand, & take on the world Mikey & Mallory Knox style. Life just doesn't work that way. From parents, to best friends & to lovers every realationship in life has it's "civil wars", tifts & misunderstandings. Every couple is comprised of people who, no matter how compatible, will have diferent opinions on matters. The only way to prevent problems would be to date someone who acts & thinks exactly as their partner does. How boring life would be to date yourself.

Infighting is so common the entertainment industry has made billions off of it. From the romantic comedy to the family based sitcom the main theme is we won't always agree with those we love the most. While life doesn't necessarily mimic entertainment the resolutions to the problems are not all that romanticized. Fall outs will occur yet that doesn't mean there isn't love. It certainly doesn't mean it is time to throw a good relationship away. In the end, in life & otherwise, a couple with stubborn love resolves it's issues. Love is the glue that holds it all together. Love encourages the couple push on though. Love makes it possible to fight the battles that need to be fought together.

Sean said...

Wow, anon.


While I'm not sure I agree with the theory that "the couple that kills together, stays together," I can understand your reference. (And Mickey and Mallory had a few blow-outs, too.)

Everything you said is well said anon. I hope you have such a love.

Anonymous said...

I guess I was unclear in my earlier comment. Ultimately, I was giving a nod to your original post, Sean. I was simply attempting to say that if the "fall out" wins over two stubborn people in love, it obviously wasn't true love. There is a difference between a series of battles and a war.

Battle Definition: 1. A sustained fight between large, organized armed forces

War Definition: 1. A state of armed conflict between different nations or states or different groups within a nation or state.

War Definition: 4. A sustained effort to deal with or end a particular unpleasant or undesirable situation or condition.

The word sustained is the key word, for my purposes, in the battle definition. I've got no argument against arguments in relationships; I think they are just another form of communication. (And isn't communication the key to relationships?) Battles and wars are mutually exclusive, mind you. I guess I was assuming that "throwing in the towel,” "a fall out,” and “war" were synonymous in this instance. Perhaps I was misguided though. It is only my opinion, but I say love should be like Johnny and June. They’re proof that battles don’t have to result in the annihilation of love. Devastation may happen, true. But ultimately, love was the true prize of years and years of struggles and strife. To love someone so much that you literally can’t live without them? That is love that doesn’t waffle from the heat of battle. Time is irrelevant; whether you’re fighting for seconds or years, it isn’t determined a war until one party surrenders the fight and truly doesn't return. Once that happens, you can be certain the love isn’t real. If two people are still fighting, it isn't over yet.

(sorry, that was pretty long winded)

Sean said...

Johnny and June...now there was a love built to last till the end of time. I have to say I'd rather be like them than the Knoxes.

I'm starting to feel that all my anonymous readers are smarter than I am.

Anonymous said...

Be the change you want to see...