Friday, July 27, 2007

Rock of Love (and skanks)

Confession time: If you were to look at my the list of playlists on my iPod, you would find one labeled "Big Hair." Within this list you'll find such influential artists as Cinderella, Europe, Guns N Roses, White Lion, and Winger. And of course, Posion.

Last night I was finally able to watch Vh1's new show Rock of Love, which stars Poison's frontman Bret Michaels in search of true love with the perfect companion for a star of his caliber (or at least a skanky ho who can drink lots and has large breasts - which don't necessarily have to be real). The show was on for an hour, and I can honestly say that other than lots of drinking, name calling, cat fighting, and pole dancing (maybe not enough of this), not much really happened. But hey, with a show focused on an 80's glam band icon, and recreational drug use looked down upon, what else do you really need?

The "challenge" the girls faced to remain in contention involved some role playing in a scenario where Bret pretended to be on the road with the band and he was calling home to speak with his honey. The girls' goal was to do whatever they could to give him some warm fuzzy feelings and make him feel like he was at home with her. Otherwise known as phone sex. The girls gave it their all, dressing up in lingerie even though they were actually using a phone to talk to Bret and he was in another room where he couldn't even see them. In order to determine a winner, Bret had what basically looked like a sphygmomanometer (what the doctor uses to take your blood pressure) wrapped around his...ummm...member to detect...ummm...excitement caused by the lady on the other end of the phone. Very technical - they even had the results printed off on line graphs to show who peaked Bret's interest and who flat-lined.

At the end of the show, those woman who weren't loose enough...errr, I mean who didn't "connect" with Bret the best were sent home, while those who had chemistry with Bret (i.e. had big boobs and could party) were invited to remain and rock his house.

Poison - Talk Dirty To Me : Poison's Greatest Hits 1986-1996

Poison - Every Rose Has Its Thorn : Poison's Greatest Hits 1986-1996

Visit Poison's website and become their friend on MySpace.


Motley Crue - Girls, Girls, Girls : Girls, Girls, Girls

Scorpions - Rock You Like A Hurricane : Love At First Sting

Warrant - Cherry Pie : Cherry Pie


Anonymous said...

I don't really even know how I just found your page but did you even watch the last episode? Jes wasn't anywhere a big breasted bimbo who drank all the time. So maybe you should watch more than one episode and I hope I ruined the SURPRISE for you. <3AsH

Sean said...

Hey Anon,

If you looked at the date of the post you would have noticed that it was at the end of July...LONG before the final episode (which I did watch). I completely agree with you about Jes; she was one of only a couple of the girls who had some redeeming qualities, which is why in the end, I knew she was the wrong one for Brett and that he should have picked Heather. Sorry you didn't ruin the surprise for me...but I hoped you enjoyed visiting my site!